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Thursday, May 6, 2010

2nd Annual Foss-Blighathlon

The epic competition as seen and reported by legendary cross country coach Carlo "Manstallion" Bligh:

"This morning we hosted the most epic athletic competition to end all competitions for the second time. The second annual Foss-Blighathlon topped the untoppable first showdown with a run lengthened to 2.5 miles, while the swim of 400 meters remained unfortunately the same oceanic distance. 60 athletes assembled at the starting line, and through what must have been the patronage of the petty and meddlesome gods atop Mount Olympus, all 60 athletes finished what was desribed by one coach as "the most most excrutiating, grueling, and body wrecking test of will and muscle to take place in the world this morning." In the end, there was no water left in the pool, as most of it had been swallowed by the men's cross country team, but the McNeil Swim Team, a state level program in all regards under the tutorship of the legendary Johnny "look at the ground when you talk to me" Foss, were the ones to emerge from the empty concrete pit in the ground as the clear winners of both divisions, with the women's and men's cross country teams behind their rivals 43 and 37 points respectively. In the individual categories, Conor Yarbrough (unattached) was the men's champion, while swimmer Rachel Hobbins pretty much dominated both sides by not only winning the women's division, but finishing 9th over all. Said one sports reporter from the award winning Trailblazer, "the swim team versus cross country team yearly death match of sportsmanship may perhaps be the greatest sports rivalry since the PreColumbian Zapotec vs Olmec netball competitions where the losers were sacrificed."
On hand to present the coveted pure gold Cup of Life to the victorious swim team was international celebrity Chip Manstallion, who upon witnessing the competition, said, "See, I told you it's always good to have an emergency speedo on hand."
Attached are the results from the event, if you see any of these student-athletes today congratulate them on having the fortitude to finish a really difficult race when swimming or running or swimming and running may not be their thing."


Congratulations to everyone for such a hard fought challenge. Also, congratulations to Rachel Hobbins and Conor Yarbrough for winning their individual divisions, as well as both the boys and girls Varsity Swimming & Diving teams for defending their title.